Introduction

My name is Erin Nicole Reyes Vedar. My parents couldn't decide on Erin or Nicole, so I have two first names. Filipino tradition also follows that my middle name be my mother's maiden name. This makes my name a bit of a mouthful. I go by either or both names. This is a little bit of my story.

Both of my parents are full Filipino, with a small sliver of Chinese on my mother's side. This makes me Filipino-Chinese, by ethnic definition. I was born in San Diego, CA on February 21, 1994. Growing up in National City/Paradise Hills, I was surrounded by Filipinos. My mother cooked incredible sinigang, lumpia, etc., my father was part of Alpha Phi Omega, so there were large parties of grownups every so many weeks, my elementary school was majority Filipino, and my extended family was welcoming and loving. This is what I grew up with, and this is where my Filipino roots come from.

When I graduated 5th grade and entered middle school, I went to a majority white school. My mother felt that the academics of this school gave me a better opportunity for getting into better high schools and colleges, instead of staying in the area where we lived. Years prior, my parents divorced, and I lived with my mother for the majority of the time. This began the phase of my life where I put my Filipino culture on hold. I worked to adapt to the "Mr/Mrs. (Last name here)", instead of Uncles and Aunties, and the formal mannerisms of the people I was surrounded by. I was able to fit into my new groups of friends, join orchestra, and get through middle school, and high school, happily and successfully. I thought I had my life all settled out.

I got accepted to San Diego State University, and spent my first semester limited to the people I already knew. I came, did my work, played cello in orchestra, and went home. Then, my boyfriend Michael introduced us into AB Samahan. As with Filipino people, friends of friends were associated with AB Samahan, and we heard they needed tappers for Sayaw sa Singkhil, a really incredible and ornate dance involving a Princess and her court, and crossing between the large sticks.

My first meeting went a little like this: Cling to the only person I knew in the room, Michael. Be overwhelmed by the amount of people. Meet the Chairperson, Lauren. Meet her Ate, Crystal. Fall in love with the concept of "OH MY GOODNESS THEY HAVE KUYAS AND ATES, YES, OH I WANT ONE." Meet tons more people. Meeting start. Be forced to the front for a New Student Introduction. Make a total fool of myself with a loud screech of a mating call. Find Jess during the Iceshaver. Talk to tons of people. Unity clap. Fall in love with the organization. Become wholeheartedly part of something bigger.

Being Filipino, from elementary school, up to the point where I joined AB Samahan, was something I barely thought about. I was a drum major before I was Filipino. I was a cellist before I was Filipino. I was a student before I was Filipino. After joining, and embracing the culture it presented and the people that have changed and shaped my life so drastically, being Filipino became a prominent point of my life. That sounds weird to say, but it's how it feels. I grew up eating mais keso ice cream as easily and as often as other people eat vanilla ice cream. I take off my shoes before entering a house and the first name I want to call any adult I don't know is Uncle or Auntie, or even Kuya or Ate to people close to my age, but older. If I love what's for dinner passionately and hungrily enough, I will eat it with my hands. Everything I do, and everything I am, is Filipino. But why? How? How much? Where does it come from?

That's what I want to find out.