The REAL Candles speech.

The morning after the Debut <3

On August 22nd, 2015, my sister, Eileen Reyes Vedar, had her debut. It was a first for our family, since I didn't have one myself. I was her emcee and her DJ, and the choreographer for the big group waltz-y dance in the beginning.

It was an amazing night.

The beginning, however, was absolutely insane. I had to run sound and video checks when we got to the venue, but we started with nothing. Once the projector and speaker systems were explained, we had to figure out where I would sit to make everything happen, since the original plan wouldn't work. Once we worked out that I would just sit by the projector with a laptop plugged into the speakers, the next problem was that the video was laggy.

So we needed a different connector cable, which nobody had. Cue the semi-frantic calls everywhere as we fall further and further behind schedule. This goes on right until the minute people start arriving. If sound wasn't working, video was. If video wasn't working, sound was. People had different cuts and downloads of music that just weren't downloading, videos weren't playing, it was a huge technological mess. BUT AT THE LAST SECOND, everything worked out fine. Sweet! Sigh of relief, let's welcome the world in.

So the debut continues on. The guests arrive, the big beginning dance goes well, the trivia game works out, the food is bomb, and the ice cream bar is off the hook. Then comes the Candles speeches.

Everyone. is crying.

Eileen is this incredible person, who has impacted so many lives. Of course there are emotional, teary Candles speeches. However, this continues to put us behind schedule. Whoops. But I'm last. I wanted it to count, but I ended up winging it instead. I played Spirited Away in the background and start to cry. She's so wonderful, so beautiful, and she's my little sister. Other people can see her as their sister, either as an older or younger one, but at the end of the day, I was there for her since day 1. The Candles speech I said emphasized that I will always be there for her. If I actually thought ahead of time, every part of my speech would have had a pun. However, in a more heartfelt fashion, this is the Candles speech I wanted to give.

Tonight, my Candles speech comes in 3 parts: Thank you, I love you, and I'm sorry.

 Eileen, it's obvious that you do so much for so many people. But I'm not thanking you for what you've done for me, because we have our whole lives to have that give and take of doing things for each other. I want to thank you for being yourself. I want to thank you for being honest when it comes to how you think about things, like how every day is a blessing. Thank you for trying tinikling for the debut, and for being really good at it! Thank you for the 4am sunrise donut runs and the 10pm boba runs. Thank you for letting me be me, and rant about whatever at random times. Thanks for always making me laugh, even when I don't think I can. Thank you for being an amazing human being, thank you for living every day to the fullest, even if your body doesn't let you sometimes. Thank you for giving me about 18-19 new siblings I never knew I wanted. But thank you for being my OG little sister. 

I hope you realize that I love you, and I mean that so much. I love how weird you are, how sassy you can be, even though it's super annoying sometimes. I loved watching you grow from "Eileen, Erin Nicole's sister" to  "Eileen, principal cellist" or "Eileen, badass badminton player" or "Eileen, ruler of Key Club." You make your own name for yourself. You're a million times more fashionable that I could ever be, and you're everything I could never be. I love that about you. Everyone's right, you will do incredible things when you grow up, but you're already doing incredible things now. 

I'm sorry if I'm not the best sister. I'm sorry if sometimes it seems like I'm not there for you. I don't even know if you entirely need me. I'm sorry for all the times this debut frustrated us and we got real annoyed with each other. But I want you to know that I am always going to be here, I'm always going to care. That's why I get annoying with dumb questions, or weird misunderstandings, or whatever. I want you to live your life knowing there's someone out there who cares about you and loves you. Even if it feels like everything is going wrong, or you feel entirely alone, I need you to know that you're never alone. I'm always going to be a text message, or four steps across the hall, or even a lot of loud banging on our shared wall away. Tete's always going to have your back, and I would do literally anything to make you happy.  

We've been through your whole life together. Every up and down and weird pit stop, our journey of life has always been intertwined somehow. So don't ever worry about me leaving you, because you're stuck with me forever. Happy 18th, Eileen. To this, and many more together.  

Happy Easter!

If you're in San Diego reading this, Happy Easter early!

So I guess Good Friday was the last day of village touring. It's been an educating and enlightening last few days. I finally figured out what it means to be Filipino, and that I've been Filipino all my life, in everything I do and everything I am. On a basic cultural level, there is no difference between me, or Savvy, or Tony Olaes, or the hundreds of Filipinos I've gotten to meet. We are all one Filipino people, we all come from the same roots. It's going to take a long time to truly unite, but with these connections, we're on the right track.

I'm part of something so much bigger than me. In AB Samahan, in band, in the Filipino culture, on this trip. I love this feeling, of contributing to something incredible. Whether it's a field show, or an event, or simply finding myself culturally or helping people who need it, I always feel rewarded and like I'm doing something worth living for. This trip has helped me see the commonalities in Filipinos and Filipino-Americans. It's incredible to know that I share connections and things in common with people who live on the opposite end of the Pacific Ocean.

My heart beats so hard with pride, for who I have learned I am and for the country I love, the motherland I come from, the Philippines. I'm so motivated to live my life to the greatest and fullest and ESPECIALLY to give back to the country that's awarded me with so much.

On Friday night, we all gathered for dinner, and one by one, shared our stories. Our pasts, what this trip has meant to us, what we've learned. It was a huge reflection for all of us, to connect with each other and really show how far we've come since this trip started. Each and every person's story had beauty, and hardship, but in the end, we have hope. That's what being Filipino is. Not just endurance or resilience, but hope.

T-minus "a couple of minutes" until Departure.

Tony Olaes selfie! Us-sie? The first of many group pictures to be taken on this trip. It's been a hectic morning, and the feeling of travel has truly begun to set in. I'm excited, and ready to take on whatever this trip has to offer. In 17 hours, we are going to be in Tokyo, Japan, then, MANILA, PHILIPPINES. I am at a loss for words, and all I want to do is see and listen and feel and take in everything that I can and bring it back to the US, to AB Samahan, to home. 

To you reading this, thank you. We're going to go on a great ride. :D

My First High School Conference

So, my timing of joining AB Samahan in spring semester of last year caused me to miss out on two incredible events: Friendship Games and High School Conference. Earlier this year, I had the pleasure of my first Friendship Games, courtesy of my E-Board SB, Dannie. Today, I feel both exhausted and renewed at the end of a very successful High School Conference.

As a bit of background, I'm currently a psychology major. I plan to open my own practice someday, being a therapist or counselor for teenagers. High schoolers are my dream age range. They have so much spark, so much potential that just needs one tiny tweak, a small push or vote of confidence to truly make all the difference. Being a drum major helped me fall in love with this concept, of changing people's lives with performance and unity.

When I got to college, it was that sort of welcoming and unifying environment that made me join Samahan. Looking back at high school, I wish I had a high school conference. These high school kids were so energetic and spirited and amazing. I adored every crazy hour of it, and I only got four hours of sleep. There's something about making a difference with them that just gives a reward back, and I was able to get through the whole day.

Shoutout to 858 and Westview Bayanihan and 951, especially the 40 people who were in the Tinikling workshop. Everyone was so fun to work with, and there was so much energy in that workshop. Definitely the best of the day. ;D Even though we didn't have music, and we definitely weren't perfect, I'm glad to see everyone getting involved, learning something new, or just being able to take the spotlight. Having this group as my tour group after was a new experience and yet so fun.

Shoutout also to the 951 kids I met - new Ading Jelly, Brenda(Briana? Oh god. I'm so tired. I'm so sorry.), Sabrina, Andrew, and Christine. Sorry if I misspelled your names. It was awesome being able to talk to y'all while heading to the parking lot and back. You were all a pleasure, and if you're coming back next year, either as an SDSU Freshman or a 951 High School Conference goer, I will greet you with much screaming and hugging. If I met you at all today, volunteers and students alike, I've got your back.

Speaking of volunteers, AHHHH SUCH AWESOME VOLUNTEERS. The gentlemen of Alpha Psi Rho were always ready and willing to do anything we needed, and you were all so helpful during lunch, thank you SO much. The volunteers I've met today were a genuine pleasure to work with, and I can't thank everyone enough for coming out so early in the morning to help a huge event like today. :D ALSO TO E-BOARD. GOOD JOB EVERYONE. IT WAS SO AMAZING TO SEE US ALL COME TOGETHER LIKE THAT. I'M SO PROUD TO BE AN E-BOARD MEMBER.

It's days like today that remind me of what I'm working for. Why I'm so passionate about AB Samahan, and why all I can think of is how to improve and progress it; to bring together more people, to change more lives, to make a bigger impact. One person at a time. I hope this trip will give me exquisite insight on the Filipino community, and all the why's. I have a feeling it will. A thousand thank you's and a million hugs, everyone. This might possibly be my last post in the US. Next stop, Manila, Philippines.