Happy Easter!

If you're in San Diego reading this, Happy Easter early!

So I guess Good Friday was the last day of village touring. It's been an educating and enlightening last few days. I finally figured out what it means to be Filipino, and that I've been Filipino all my life, in everything I do and everything I am. On a basic cultural level, there is no difference between me, or Savvy, or Tony Olaes, or the hundreds of Filipinos I've gotten to meet. We are all one Filipino people, we all come from the same roots. It's going to take a long time to truly unite, but with these connections, we're on the right track.

I'm part of something so much bigger than me. In AB Samahan, in band, in the Filipino culture, on this trip. I love this feeling, of contributing to something incredible. Whether it's a field show, or an event, or simply finding myself culturally or helping people who need it, I always feel rewarded and like I'm doing something worth living for. This trip has helped me see the commonalities in Filipinos and Filipino-Americans. It's incredible to know that I share connections and things in common with people who live on the opposite end of the Pacific Ocean.

My heart beats so hard with pride, for who I have learned I am and for the country I love, the motherland I come from, the Philippines. I'm so motivated to live my life to the greatest and fullest and ESPECIALLY to give back to the country that's awarded me with so much.

On Friday night, we all gathered for dinner, and one by one, shared our stories. Our pasts, what this trip has meant to us, what we've learned. It was a huge reflection for all of us, to connect with each other and really show how far we've come since this trip started. Each and every person's story had beauty, and hardship, but in the end, we have hope. That's what being Filipino is. Not just endurance or resilience, but hope.

Conversations.

I have had pretty much the best conversations associated with this trip. The people on this trip are the kind of people who are fairly like-minded, in that we all want to help progress the Filipino community, and we value our culture.

Marty Lorenzo, a pretty intense corporate lawyer, and a Marine, told me that everyone here on this trip is here for a reason, and that this whole trip was meant to be. We had a pretty amazing heart-to-heart kind of conversation around 3 AM before we left Cavite to go to Tacloban. He left the trip early to go back to the States, for his son, who is becoming an Eagle Scout on Saturday. Marty is incredibly caring, geeky (HE MADE A HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY REFERENCE TO THE RESTAURANT AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE WHAAAAT NOBODY DOES THAT; also, Star Wars references and Disney songs for days), and I'm really happy that I can call him Kuya as opposed to Uncle. He's someone I can go to for an unbiased, but genuine, perspective. It's really weird to think that he was once an interrogator for the Marine Corps. He's a hardcore guy.

Levin Sy knows everything about everyone, all the time. He's a very strong and strategic activist for Filipino rights, ever since he went to college at UCLA. He was able to pretty much take over the student government from the fraternities that usually took it over, with a completely ethnic org-based slate. He used months of planning, fundraising, strategizing, and finally succeeded. The way he thinks is always in "the bigger picture" and Levin sees all and knows how to work a room, how to call people out to improve them, and especially how to make sure that everyone is fed and safe and okay. He's the kind of person I want to be around forever, because he constantly has my back, I never have to worry.

Rob, Reina, and Warren Bonta are an incredible family. Rob is the first Fil-Am Assemblyman, Reina has her own nonprofit org that donates soccer equipment to kids in need, and Warren has lived through so many historical moments, his life would be the most interesting memoir. The fact that they are able to come out to the Philippines, even though they're all crazy busy, and explore our homeland together, and appreciate it so much, it's incredible. I wish I had spent more time with them, since we met up with them in Tacloban, and they're leaving tonight. Well, not Warren. Warren's with us.

Dean is Rob's Chief of Staff. He's funny, and an awesome person to talk to, and he's been able to reconnect with a lot of his family members in the area, it's been amazing. It turns out that most places we go, he meets someone from his family that he's never met before. Unfortunately, we weren't able to go to Guiuan, due to rain and mud, and he missed out on visiting his grandmother's hometown nearby, but it means he'll have to take another trip. I feel like we did so much on this trip but we could do so much more. I can't wait to come back to the Philippines, hopefully with this group again.

Willy Santos, his wife Shelley, Trisha, DJ Bautista, and Uncle Pete are also incredible people. Oh, and Mike. I'm not sure when he arrived. I think Uncle Pete owns a cable company here? He donated free cable to two Gawad Kalinga villages, without a second thought. Once those villages are completed, they'll have cable as well. That's just so uplifting. Willy Santos, everytime he sees a skateboarder here, he's so chill about going up to them and taking pictures and giving them free things. The work he's been doing to support typhoon relief here is nothing short of amazing. I don't know enough about this group of people, but they're amazingly successful and I wish I could get to know them better.

Perla and her son, Zach joined us in Tacloban. Ate Perla is thoughtful, kind, and so good with children. She looks out for us, she's so open and incredible, and I absolutely love her. Her son, Zach has a long way to go, social skills-wise, but it's okay. He plays mad piano, his humor is sarcastic as anyone I know, and he's a great kid. Zach is cool. I wish I had more time to spend with them, because I think they're leaving tomorrow.

Derek and Deejay are the videographers. I got to be Derek's sound person for a little bit in Tacloban. Though their role here was videographer, they both have so much heart. Their lives have been battles, just like everyone else here. They're hilarious, and fun, and they look out for our trifecta of girls... I can't say enough about them. This trip would not have been this much fun without them. I adore everyone who came on this trip, and made me feel welcomed and important, as if I'm their equal. Everyone on this trip, I have the privilege of calling them Ate or Kuya, and that is amazing.

Tony Olaes is the reason we are all here, together. His vision of a united Filipino people is inspiring, and his passion is unparalleled. His life has changed so drastically in the last few years, and he has become such a giving and wonderful person. Everything he thinks about comes back to the Philippines, to helping families rebuild homes, to helping Filipinos get jobs, to bringing typhoon relief. As an entrepreneur, as a businessman, he's pretty awesome. As a kuya, as a friend, he's incredibly laidback and fun. I'm so grateful to have met someone like him.

Jen, Savvy, and I make the trifecta! We traveled here together, we've stuck together, we've gone through this incredible journey together. We make fun of Deejay and D-Rock, we explore our culture, and we've had each other's backs. I'm so happy that I get to share this amazing experience with these extraordinary ladies. Even though the things we've taken away from the trip have been different, our journey together is one we can really connect with, and I know I can go to these ladies for anything.

KUYA RICO IS AMAZING. KUYA RICO IS SERIOUSLY THE GREATEST PERSON EVER. He coordinates all of our travel, our meals, our itinerary; he's so organized and pleasant and at the end of the day, he still finds a way to relaaax. He and Levin make a great team. Rico is a loving father of two girls, and he cares so much about everyone, and he doesn't care about how people feel about his accent. I love his accent, I think it's so distinctly him. When I first talked to or emailed Rico, I thought he was all business.

Turns out nobody on this trip is like that. As intense and successful everyone is professionally, when it's time to come back to our roots and reconnect with each other, these people are so full of heart and soul. I'm so honored to have been on this trip with them.

PSA: MANGOSTINS ARE THE BEST FRUIT EVER.

This time, on a new episode of "FILIPINO FIRST" copyrighted Deejay and D-Rock, LOL.

This weird-looking fruit is actually THE GREATEST FRUIT EVER. They called it a superfruit, but I'm not sure about it's nutritional value but IT TASTES WONDERFUL. So you have to either take off the top bit and peel off all the ugly red outside, or you can crush it between your hands and split it open with your BRUTE STRENGTH.

At the center, there's this amazing little white center. It's about the size of a cutie tangerine, but it's totally white. It even breaks off in segments, and you can't eat the pit part, which disguises itself as a segment. This stuff tastes like nectarines and plums and peaches COMBINED. IT'S SWEET AND AMAZING AND it only grows in the Philippines. :C

Good Friday.

So today, instead of going to Guiuan like we planned, we went to GK villages and other Barongays in the surrounding area. There was too much mud from the rain last night to head into Guiuan, so we changed our plans. Tony's been having a lot of communication with Mayor Mel (I learned his name, oops.) about the plaza he's hoping to rebuild into a central plaza for the children, the families, etc. I think they're in a meeting with Willy Santos as well right now, trying to convince the Mayor of Tanauan to build a skate park in the plaza as well, as a good recreational activity for the kids.

Before we got to the first village, we had our first collective culture scare. This was the first time we saw something and nobody in the van could explain the why's or what's. There were people, dressed in pointy hoods and masks and their whole bodies were covered. There were crosses on their fronts and they looked like they were collecting donations for the church. There were people dressed in all white, or all navy blue, or in different color combinations. I'm assuming they were priests, and this was some kind of tradition for Good Friday. It scared us because they resembled the American KKK, but the connotation here is completely different.

The first village we visited took us down the bumpiest roads thus far. For people who have been here, you already know what I mean. For people who don't, take the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland, and multiply it by a thousand, and slow it down by just as much. It's totally nuts. You really gotta have a strong stomach and roll with the bumps in the road. I taught a few people on this trip to fold paper stars, though. I've been folding stars this whole trip just to keep my hands busy without giving me motion sickness from writing or reading.

The village was apparently, already built when the typhoon hit. However, when it happened, the town suffered a lot of damages, but fortunately, nobody died. Apparently, at all the GK villages, nobody died during the typhoon, which is amazing. I was actually pretty proud of myself that I could have a basic conversation with the kids at this village. It was hard to talk to the toddlers though, they didn't really talk back. We bought a bunch of food from a small store and handed it out to the kids and mothers.

Since it's Good Friday, there were a lot of prayers and sharing of stories about the typhoon, and being a part of the GK village, and so on. Apparently, our current GK guide, who was at the GK village where we celebrated Reina's birthday, used to be a pastor of some sort. He's really good at keeping the crowd alive and entertained. I feel like today was a lot of travel, going from village to village quickly, instead of interviewing residents for a long time like we have been. It's still been a good experience, we get to interact with everyone, but it's not for as long as usual, I feel. Maybe it's because of the weather. It was insanely hot today, hotter than usual. Nutty weather.

We got a bunch of fruit on the side of the road when we headed off to the Leyte Landing, where the MacArthur Monument was. At least, I think that's what it was called, and I think that's how you spell that. o.o We took a lot of cool pictures with the statues depicting soldiers walking through the water. The heat was really getting to us though, and we headed out quickly. From there, we headed to a really tropical barongay close to the water. There was a convent there that GK had visited before, and we went to thank them for their work in keeping their community safe as much as they could during the typhoon.

It's pretty heartbreaking, thinking about how the typhoon affected this area. Apparently, when they were cleaning up, or when the coast guard was making their rounds, people would pile dead bodies on a raft and push them out to sea so the coast guard could collect them. There were 128 households in this barongay, and that doesn't even include a full count of how many families and people there are living in those households. Today was a day of reflection, as Good Friday should be. You can feel the Holy Spirit in the words we've prayed and the general vibe of all the communities.

Willy Santos, skateboarder, father, friend.

For people who don't know Willy Santos, google him. Or check out his website, http://willysantos.com/ and just adore him. Follow his instagram, Facebook, Twitter, get at it.

Willy Santos is one of the people taking this trip with us on Team GK-USA. He's a professional skateboarder, who has skateboarded under Tony Hawk. He's also the most humble, down-to-Earth person ever. He's incredibly nice, he's giving, he's a loving father and husband; he's pretty much the whole package. When we went to Tent City yesterday, he was handing out candy, chips, and cookies to the kids.

Today, I saw the extent of his kindness. He had a small fan meet-up at the hotel tonight, and I caught just the end of it. Different skaters in the Tacloban area, about 17 of them, came to see Willy, get autographs, skate, have fun. Willy signed autographs, and the skaters took turns getting interviewed about their story involving how they were affected by the typhoon. It's really beautiful, that even though they had to go through such a crazy disaster, they were still united, looking out for each other no matter how far they had to walk to see if someone is okay, and they still had a love for skating.

Skating creates a life that allows them to forget about their problems, and have fun. Of course, they understand the reality of their lives, having to survive, rebuild, start over, move on. But having this recreational activity to fall back on when times are tough or life is especially difficult or frustrating, it's amazing to see. So at the end of the night, Willy had a raffle for the people who came out to see him. He handed out free skateboard wheels, lots of t-shirts, an iPhone fisheye lens, snapbacks, and finally, for the three people that weren't called by the end, (it worked out really nicely, numbers wise) they got free skateboard decks. They were ecstatic. It was like getting a trip to Disneyland, getting free signed decks from Willy Santos.

The inspiration Willy creates, not only as a professional skateboarder, but as a Filipino skateboarder, gives people hope. He works to establish skate parks not only in the San Diego area, but in the Philippines as well. He's so genuine, fun, and I'm so honored to have met him and seen him in action. He facetimes his kids, his wife is here on this trip with him, supporting him all the way, and he's taking this trip for what it is, a reconnect with the motherland, and a way to give back. It's pretty wonderful.

It's Holy Week.

This is the part where I get a little more personal, give a little more opinion, talk a little bit more about how I feel and what I think rather than what we do, since we're limited by Holy Week. Today, we travelled to Ormoc, and we visited the GK village, Tambulili. They've taken on the Bayani Challenge, but have paused all work until after Holy Week. Rob Banta's daughter, Reina, celebrated her 15th birthday today, and the village surprised her with a small fiesta, at least in their terms. It was so cool, seeing what this community could do for someone they don't even know. Even though the speakers kept apologizing about how little they had to offer, I thought they gave this girl the world for her birthday.

The GK youth had dances prepared when we arrived, and there was lots of music and talking. The village had boodle prepared, this huuuuge crazy long table covered in banana leaves with tons and tons of food. It was beautiful. Everyone feasted, all hands and smiles. The GK-USA team had their own separate meal, and I had the best adobong manok ever; so flavorful, so good. There was a French volunteer who was taking on the Bayani Challenge by himself. He's in his gap year before college, and he decided to go to Gawad Kalinga and help build a GK village. He was really nice. It's incredible to see the people taking on this challenge, they're so wholehearted and genuine.

So since travelling to and from this village took a total of 4 hours, it took up most of our time. Before we left, Savvy ended up becoming a small celebrity to the kids when she performed for them. Coming closer to our hotel, we stopped by what a sign told me was Yolanda Village, basically, a village was put together behind boats that were stuck on land due to flooding from the typhoon. It was literally feet away from the water, but the boats were huge, and since they couldn't move the boats, they just lived on it and around it. A little girl named Princess called out to me from the inside of a small store in the village, and they wanted me to buy something, but I didn't have any pesos. Her mother and sister were in there, too. Savannah got her flipflop stuck in a mudhole and it got sucked in. Levin told us later on that all the mud was mixed with sewage. This is the reality of post-typhoon life. God, it's intense.

To really try to put myself in the shoes of these people is difficult. I can't even fathom what it would be like to not only experience the brunt of the storm, but to survive, and live on to rebuild and start over. To go from living in a certain way and place and having to rebuild and start over based on whatever was around, if anything was even around. To have to dig through trash, possibly digging up dead bodies, to build another small home that might blow away the next time a storm happens. Saying that Filipinos have incredible endurance and resilience hardly describes what they have do and deal with every single day.

Tacloban, Day 1

There's a huge difference between hearing about the damages of Typhoon Haiyan, and actually being in the midst of it. The airport that planes couldn't land in due to flooding, that's where we flew in today. There's literally half an airport left. There's tarps trying to cover as many holes in the wall as possible; and when I say holes, I mean entire chunks of wall that are just gone. The airport is working at its bare minimum, and the entire city looks just as destroyed.

As we were driving through to meet the mayor of Tanauan, I was so stricken. To say that the damages of the storm were devastating doesn't even cover it. You can feel the environment, and how hurt the land and the people are. There's green everywhere, from flooding and fallen trees, and mixed with that are the makeshift homes everyone lives in. There's tarps and metal sheets and so much trash everywhere. There's structures half-standing, without roofs or entire sections of wall. Everything felt like it was in a fixed state of reconstruction or hopelessness. At least, this is how I felt when we initially arrived.

I noticed a ton of signs saying, "No build zone." Upon meeting the Mayor of Tanauan, and even going to the Bayani Challenge later on, I realized that they are learning from the mistake of building homes so close to the coastline. The airport was right next to the ocean, right at sea level. As they are rebuilding, hopefully to make stronger and more durable homes, they know to relocate far from the coastline, to prevent such damages from being so great. The mayor of Tanauan, I think his name was Pat, was working hard to restore his city. He focused on livelihood, funding, infrastructure, and other big picture-type aspects to make his city stronger.

At the Bayani Challenge, there were guest speakers, talking about how they were taking the challenge, and how grateful they are to see such hard work and progress. There were a lot of house structures erected, they just need rooftops and some reinforcing. We were helping mix cement with "two shovels of sand, and one shovel of gravel," according to Marty Lorenzo, who is someone I've been able to get closer to on this trip. He has really amazing insight, and though his life is so busy, he is still able to come out here and reconnect, and help tremendously.

Something I noticed during the event was that while the speakers were talking, everyone, and I mean, EVERYONE was listening and giving their total focus and respect to the person speaking. That was incredible. I'm so used to crowds of Filipinos not being able to stop talking, in college or in other groups. The focus and respect in this process is amazing, and the spirit is inspiring as well. Everyone was helping out, from teenagers to lolo's and lola's. All these people are putting in "sweat equity." Since they don't have the money to pay for the houses in the village, they need to donate at least 2000 hours helping build, I believe. The houses they build individually may not even be their own, but in the end everyone still comes together to benefit the community, and houses are distributed fairly.

It felt good to finally do some work, digging and lifting bags of dirt. I got to use old leg muscles I hadn't exerted in a while, and I felt accomplished. There's so much work to be done in Tacloban, in this whole region. Although people have shelter, it's not anywhere near strong or sturdy enough. The lives of the people here are revolved around survival and rebuilding. Hopefully, the houses in the GK village will be finished by next year, and hopefully more schools will be rebuilt by the time the kids have to go back in June.

After lunch, we went to a place called Tent City. It's literally a village of tents. We were greeted by a huge mob of kids. We got to talking to them, and set off to find residents to interview. Willy Santos and Dean, Rob Banta's Chief of Staff, were handing out food to the kids, and they were completely ravenous for it. Soon, we were surrounded by kids with chocolate candy, cookies, and chips. Rob Banta's daughter, Reina, had her first experience in a village, interacting with kids. We had a lot of fun, singing and playing with the kids. They spoke a lot better English here, which made me feel a little bit better. I inferred that they still went to school.

After a while, a group of girls broke off from the crowd to play games together. There were lots of Tagalog rhymes and dances, but OH MY GOD THEY KNEW "RIDE THAT PONY." They started playing it, the way we learned it at Filipino Culture Night practices, and Savannah and I immediately started playing with them. Many, many rhymes and games later, we were able to teach them slide, before having to leave. Playing with the kids is always a very rewarding part of the village visits, because these kids can still have fun and be curious and be themselves, even in the midst of all the chaos.

We have 3 more days here, I think. There's so much to be done. People to meet, builds to partake in, and a lot of information to absorb. The resilience of Filipinos is 100% genuine and real, as is the resourcefulness in reconstruction. Tacloban is going in the right direction, it's just taking a while to process.

We're heading to Tacloban today.

So I think our days will pretty much be like yesterday, but in different areas. Plus we are participating in a GK Build, which I'm so excited for. It's hard to explain what this experience is giving me, because it's something that comes from inside, something that's so distinctly me and so distinctly right that I can't help but be excited for whatever else is to come.

I came into this trip hoping to find my cultural "click," that moment of "THIS is why I am who I am, and THIS is what makes me Filipino." I think I'm on the right track. Everything about this trip just feels right, and I'm so comfortable and at home here. I'm able to instantly connect with so many people, on such a human level, that even though I can't speak Tagalog, and they can barely speak English, was can still connect and communicate. Personally, that's an incredible thing to embrace.

Listening to people's stories and getting their perspectives are all I want to do in life. Forward from that, I always feel a need to help, if I'm able. In band, it was everything from basic things like snacks and juice boxes to get through rehearsals, to quick button-ups and button-downs in and out of uniform, and even a lifelong set of friends and a sense of community in the ensemble. If there's a way for me to foster that end result - a community that can be valued in the individual, then I'm content. I'm so happy to have done my part.

In college, I may not be able to take that stressful midterm for someone else, but I can help with studying, or finding a tutor, or just give a back massage for encouragement. My ears and eyes and heart are open to listening to whatever people have to say. Personally, I want to make sure that somebody out there knows my story, my full life story, so I can never die, and the mistakes and triumphs I have made can be experienced and learned by others. So if I can do that for someone else, I will do it. I am constantly telling people from other groups of friends about the people and experiences from my other groups of friends. From me, you are connected to people you wouldn't expect.

I think that's the beauty of the world now. We are all connected, whether it's in person or online, to other people. That's what's awesome about people, and how people interact. I love it. It's everything I love.

So with these thoughts in mind, I'm preparing myself to delve into new situations and new places, to meet new people on a larger scale. It's these thoughts that excite me and fuel my passion for this trip and everything we're doing in it.

Happy Birthday, Mama.

Thank you for everything you have done for me, thank you for helping me love the Filipino culture, thank you for letting me go on this trip, and thank you for being my mom. There aren't even enough words to describe the world of things you have done for me. I love you, Mom.

The Gawad Kalinga Village Contrast

So visiting the slums, or even acknowledging poverty in general, you realize a few things. The only things that matter are physiological needs, and very few safety needs. When you live with almost nothing, you have to think about what you're going to eat, drink, if your house is going to fall on you, where is your family going to sleep, etc. Very basic needs, no more than that, since life is literally money source to money source, and nothing was stable.

I visited my first Gawad Kalinga village today. I saw pictures online, the buildings are so incredibly bright, and compared to the slums, the ground was better and cleaner. All around, the Gawad Kalinga Village is a significant improvement over the slums. The houses are sturdier, the environment is cleaner, there's more opportunities for livelihoods and education for the many, many children. When we got there, I was in awe. It was like a beautiful community. When we got to the main square, I was totally floored. I wanted to leap out of the car and run to the incredible group of Drum and Lyre Corps, who were performing because Tony Olaes and our group were coming to visit.

The Drum and Lyre Corps was made up of students, ranged 8-16 years old, and they had 2 bass drums, 1 cymbalist, 2 tri-drums, and 4 snares, all the players were boys. A large amount of girls were on lyres and bells, and they were all playing, together. There was a little girl on a lyre and her mallet head flew off. She sighed, took off her lyre, and picked it up. I was so proud. If anyone knows me from band, breaking mallets like that is almost a rite of passage in my mind.

The music was cohesive, and incredible. I was in such awe, I had no idea that music was a priority in their education. IN ADDITION TO THIS GROUP OF MUSICIANS, WAS 7 GUARD KIDS. I'm not kidding. Guard babies. There was this FABULOUS boy named Mathew, performing his little heart out at the front of the performance. They had types of uniforms, but nothing really uniform. OH MAN I SHOULD HAVE ASKED THEM ABOUT WHAT LIFE WAS LIKE BEFORE THIS POINT. I got to talk to all of them, and even though only about 3 kids could understand me, I felt so happy to be able to connect with them on a performance level. They were so welcoming and so awesome.

Upon being able to talk to these kids, I was overwhemed with such pride for them because they are all doing something that I have been doing all through high school and the fact that they were happy and enjoying it and planning to continue it made me so proud. The whole time I was watching them and interacting with them, I was struck with a powerful need to come back, and live with them for a month, and teach them everything I know about guard and percussion. I'm not an expert, but I could teach them so much more. I fangirled hard over these kids.

They handmade everything. I asked where their instruments came from, and the conductor told me he has a business making these instruments. The drums weren't uniform, and the mallets didn't match, but they made music together and enjoyed doing it. The guard flags were about arm's length, and they were hand made and taped. The uniforms were borrowed, and they want more than anything to just have a set uniform for everyone. That really spoke to me. I know that Filipinos ask for things often, but the fact that these people went from living in the worst environment ever to a small safe haven in the middle of craziness really gives me hope.

When visiting the slums, the people knew that they could do so much more, and so much better, but they didn't have the options or ability to. But in the Gawad Kalinga village, they reached this point where they are able to provide their own physiological needs, and safety needs, and now they can think about livelihoods, music, other things. These kids are so happy, and they're going to grow up so smart and incredible just because they live in a better community than most, and they have the options of learning music or guard. I connected. I fell in love. This is amazing.

There's so much to say.

So a main thing we are doing for this trip is visiting slum areas and interviewing residents. We film this and draw attention to it to show people that this is the reality for about 40% of the Philippines population. Poverty is a very real issue that requires actual attention. It's not pretty, it's not fun, but it's a long and depressing reality for so many Pilipinos. There are various reactions to this sort of environment - there's trash everywhere, the smells range from garbage to fish to even grosser things before you walk a step, everyone lives so jam packed together, and the standard of living is nonexistant. You make it with whatever you have, even if it means scavenging through insane piles of trash.

It's depressing. It's devestating. It's fascinating. In a community like this; in various communities like this, what is the common thread? This experience has made me grateful for what I have, and even guilty that I can't get them out of such a hopeless situation, but seeing these different slums and families and residents have shown me what being Filipino is at the most basic level. On the level where you have nothing but your mind, whatever you can find, and your community, who are you?

The first slum area we visited today was literally in a cemetery. There were large graves, jammed together, and at the end of the road, there was the community. This little girl, Tanya, was the first girl to walk up to us and speak to us. She wasn't shy. She liked the attention. Soon, most of the kids in the community, it seemed (I think they're on vacation?) were following our group in a huge mob as we walked around their buildings. The setting was intense. I was expecting bad, but bad gets worse when you see all the soaked garbage underneath some of the elevated houses.

We interviewed some residents, and to get to them, we had to pass in between houses, on crazy rocks and rubble, in the most narrow pathway I had ever been in. While the other people in my group were interviewing people, I couldn't help but keep my attention on what they had in their house. That, and the children, who were screaming and playing outside, and trying to get inside the house as well. I didn't say much for these first few interviews, in this slum area or the next one, because most of my attention was captured by what the residents seemed to value and keep in their house, and how the kids acted.

Some background - I love psychology. I love the conversations I would have with Dr. Rey about Filipino psychology, I love noticing what people value and what makes them act the way they do, and I love seeing the comparisons across a particular ethnicity or group. This is the kind of stuff I was hoping to find while touring the Philippines the way we are. What makes Filipinos Filipino? What connects every single one of us as Filipinos? I'm in no way, shape, or form an expert. But the things I'm noticing are absolutely fascinating.

No matter how poor the resident is, no matter how little they make a month or how many kids they have, three consistent things I've seen in the home are: window blinds, something to cover the windows, and oscillating fans. All of these things make sense, given it's crazy hot and they need something to protect from the bugs, but these items are consistent in every single residence house I've seen. It's something we do. This isn't a life-changing epiphany here, but it brings up other commonalities to be found.

Now the kids. These kids, across the different slums, ranged from having no shoes, or even pants, to having outfits that matched. I keep wondering where they keep getting all these things. There were tons of Disney shirts, Despicable Me Minion shirts, lots of pop culture stuff. But the way these kids were interacting with us really made me think. At the first slum area, they were totally trying to vie for attention. They were clamoring over each other, playing and screaming and just being kids. They were roughhousing, they were playing with whatever they could find, they were making up games. In the second area, the kids were a little shyer, but still curious. Still trying to get attention, but not entirely interacting with us. Again, there was roughhousing, made up games, resourcefulness, the same attitudes across the areas. For all these kids, I had an instant connection, a need to play with them, to interact, because they were so inviting to do so.

The reason I'm focusing on the kids is because the kids will be growing up in these areas for a very long time, possibly the rest of their lives. This is all they will know. But somehow, they're still smiling. They're still playing. They're still working with what they have, and doing their own thing, together. That's how I grew up, but on a much smaller scale. I would play like that with my Vedar cousins. We roughhoused in the backyard, whether it was a canyon or a street, and we would play pretend and even if all we had to play with was a broken scooter and a ball, there would be hours of entertainment. I connected. I felt like I belonged.

There's a variety of things that connect Filipinos, whether it's where we are from or how we are raised. But it goes deeper, down to things we don't think about, things that we just knew, that nobody had to teach. I want to find out as much as I can about it. I treasure every moment I have immersed in this environment.  There's so much to learn.

The heat never bothered me anyway.

Well, for now at least. We made it to Tony Olaes' house in Kawit, Cavite. The flights took forever, so I think it's about 1 in the morning here, and we are starting our day at about 6 AM. I'm so wide-eyed and just trying to take everything in. The current mosquito bite count is 0, and the heat isn't bothering me as much as I thought anymore.

The flights went well, and we're all safe and here. I am insanely excited for what is to come, whatever it is.

I'm a little apprehensive, only because it's a huge shock for me to be totally surrounded by people who look like me, or people that I know. I'm not sure how to fit in, since there's that whole stigma of "People can look at you and tell you're American." I'm just not sure how to speak or act, so I'm just going to keep testing the waters, and I'll figure it out.

T-minus "a couple of minutes" until Departure.

Tony Olaes selfie! Us-sie? The first of many group pictures to be taken on this trip. It's been a hectic morning, and the feeling of travel has truly begun to set in. I'm excited, and ready to take on whatever this trip has to offer. In 17 hours, we are going to be in Tokyo, Japan, then, MANILA, PHILIPPINES. I am at a loss for words, and all I want to do is see and listen and feel and take in everything that I can and bring it back to the US, to AB Samahan, to home. 

To you reading this, thank you. We're going to go on a great ride. :D